a walking oxymoron

My neighbor is named Sir Lancelot. He’s got the personality of a soggy sock.

My cousin’s name is Sir Puffles. He’s got the brain of a wet sock.

My boss is called Sir Grumpalot. He’s got the energy of a dead donkey.

My uncle looks like a walking hot dog. His name is Sir Biscuit.

My friend is named Sir Muffin. He looks like a dead raccoon.

My teacher is named Sir Pudding. He’s got the face of a used sock.

My brother is named Sir Gloom. He’s got the vibe of a haunted basement.

My friend is named Sir Wail. He screams like a dying cat.

My cousin is named Sir Creak. He walks like a broken door.