a very big cock

Bro, I’m not even mad. I’m just sad you’re not me.

You’re like a chihuahua trying to hump a bear.

I looked at your cock and I had a heart attack.

You’re like a bad pizza. No one wants to eat you.

You’re so average, you’re basically a ghost.

You’ve got the looks of a guy who’s never had a date.

People are still whispering about you in the bathroom.

You’re the hot topic of the lunch table.

Even the janitor knows your name now.