A Tyler Durden

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1
When a story finally tells you that two people are really the same guy or one guy is just making it up, like a lying bastard.
'Wait, you're telling me the guy who started the fight club was also the guy who got kicked out of his apartment? No way!'
I knew the whole time it was the same dude. Why did it take so long to say it?
That twist was so stupid, I wanted to punch the screen.
2
The king of all kings. The god of all gods. The man who could beat up your dad and your uncle and your cousin and your neighbor. Everyone wants to be him. Everyone wants to sleep with him.
'Tyler Durden is the reason I quit my job. I just wanted to be him.'
If Tyler Durden had a twin, I’d marry him.
He's the guy who would beat you up for not knowing the difference between a god and a man.
3
The part of you that you hate, the part that you blame on a guy named Tyler Durden, like he’s some kind of idiot who came out of your brain.
'I hate my anger. I blame it on Tyler Durden. He’s the idiot who started the fight club.'
My laziness is Tyler Durden. He’s the reason I skipped work.
I blame my bad decisions on Tyler Durden. He’s the worst.
4
The guy stuck next to you on the plane, so close you think he’s part of your body, like he's trying to steal your oxygen and your life.
'That guy is my Tyler Durden. I swear he’s trying to take over my body.'
I don’t know how I survived the flight. That guy was my nightmare.
I thought I was going to die on that plane. That guy was my enemy.
5
A guy or girl who likes to hit you as hard as they can. They don’t care if you’re crying or broken. They just want to make you feel bad.
'She wanted to hit me so hard, I thought I was going to die.'
That guy hit me so hard, I had a bruise the size of a pizza.
He just wanted to beat me up for no reason. That’s what Tyler Durden taught him.
6
To steal a drink from a bar, like a thief, and hide it in your clothes or your pocket. You’re sneaky, and you don’t want anyone to know.
'I stole a beer and hid it in my pants. I was so sneaky.'
He took a shot of whiskey and hid it in his shirt. He looked like a fool.
She stole a drink and hid it in her bag. I didn’t even notice.
7
A guy who has two different brains, like he’s half one person and half another. He can be crazy, lazy, angry, and smart all at the same time.
'He has two different brains. One is a genius, the other is a fool.'
She has two brains. One is smart, the other is loud.
He has two sides. One is calm, the other is a monster.
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