A Tolley

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A Tolley is when you do something so stupid it makes a goat cry and a donkey laugh.

I tried to explain the plot of Dragon Ball Z to my grandma. She asked if it was a type of cereal.

I said I was going to be the main character in a 2006 anime. No one knows what that is.

I left for a 10-minute walk and came back 2 hours later. I was lost, drunk, and crying about a cat.

A Tolley is the kind of perfect person that makes you wish you were dead.

My cousin is a Tolley. He gets perfect grades, has a perfect girlfriend, and I have to take the bus.

I wish I was a Tolley. I would never have to do chores or eat vegetables.

My math teacher is a Tolley. She can solve equations faster than I can finish my lunch.

A Tolley is when you roll a joint so loaded it could knock out a bull and make it cry.

I rolled a joint with meth, crack, and PCP. I didn’t come back for 3 days. I was a ghost.

My friend rolled a joint with heroin, DMT, and cannabis. He turned into a zombie.

I rolled a joint with everything. I started singing opera and crying about my ex.

A Tolley is someone who sucks dick just to get the bus fare home. No shame. No pride.

My uncle is a Tolley. He sucks dick for the bus fare and still complains about the driver.

I saw a Tolley at the bus stop. He had a guy’s face and a donkey’s mouth.

My mom is a Tolley. She sucks a guy’s dick just to get the bus home. It’s a family tradition.

Mr. Tolley is a giant man with a body like a meatball and muscles like a bull. He also has a fit wife.

My gym teacher is Mr. Tolley. He bench-pressed a goat and still has a six-pack.

I saw Mr. Tolley at the park. He lifted a car and had a wife who could do yoga in the air.

My uncle is Mr. Tolley. He once wrestled a bear and won.

A Tolley is a person who hits dogs with a stick like they owe him money.

My neighbor is a Tolley. He hits dogs with a stick every day. They run away screaming.

I saw a Tolley hit a dog so hard, the dog turned into a ghost.

My dad is a Tolley. He hit a dog so hard, it ran to the moon.

A Tolley is a smelly little guy who tries to date your sister, your cousin, or your mom.

My friend’s uncle is a Tolley. He asked my sister out and smelled like a garbage can.

I saw a Tolley at the mall. He tried to date my cousin and had a beard like a goat.

My teacher is a Tolley. He tried to date my mom and still teaches me math.