a swerve

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A swerve is a person who makes you want to punch them in the face. They’re usually high, loud, and always arguing about stupid stuff.

My cousin is a swerve. He fights with the mailman over where the trash can should be.

My ex is a swerve. She called me at 2 a. m. just to say she was eating tacos.

My neighbor is a swerve. He thinks he’s a superhero because he wears a cape to work.

A swerve is when someone skips talking to you just because they think you’re a total waste of air.

My friend skipped my birthday because she thought I was a swerve.

He didn’t reply to my text because he called me a swerve.

She walked past me in the hallway like I wasn’t there because I was a swerve.

A swerve is when you go in for a kiss and the person ducks away like they’re avoiding a fight.

I went in for a kiss and she ducked away like I was going to punch her.

He tried to kiss me and I swerved like I was running from a monster.

She turned her head when I leaned in and I felt like a total failure.

To get your swerve on is when you feel like partying and doing stupid stuff just because you can.

I got my swerve on and decided to throw a party in my mom’s kitchen.

He got his swerve on and tried to dance on the ceiling.

She got her swerve on and bought 10 pizzas for her friends.

Swerving is when you drive like a maniac trying to get somewhere, even if it means everyone else gets mad.

I swerved through traffic like I was trying to escape a dragon.

He swerved around three cars just to get to the gas station first.

She swerved like she was in a race against time and a bunch of donuts.

A swerve is when you yell at someone like a total lunatic. It’s like you’re trying to make them run away.

I yelled ‘swerve’ at my brother and he ran out of the house.

She said ‘swerve’ so loud my dog started barking.

He yelled ‘swerve’ at the bus driver and the bus stopped for no reason.

A swerve is when you sell drugs and hope no one notices you’re a total mess.

He did a swerve in the park and got caught by the cops.

She did a swerve in the back of the school and got a detention.

My brother did a swerve and got kicked out of the house.