A surgery

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Stabbing someone in the worst spot you can find while smiling like you're on vacation and saying 'A surgery' like it's a compliment.

My doctor poked me in the kidney and said 'A surgery' like I was a baby.

She jabbed me with a needle and called it a surgery. I'm still mad.

He stuck me in the stomach and said it was a surgery. I think he's lying.

Getting sliced open, having your guts jostled like a drunk in a bar, and told it'll be fine, then getting sent to hell.

I got cut open, my insides got shaken, and I was told it was going to be easy. I was wrong.

He opened me up like a taco and said I'd be fine. I'm in hell now.

My surgeon took me apart like a puzzle and said I’d be fine. I’m now a ghost.

When a doctor decides to rip you open, mess with your organs like they’re playing hide and seek, and stick you back together with thread and hope.

The surgeon opened me up like a bag of chips and messed with my organs. I was stuck with thread.

My doctor took me apart and sewed me back like I was a broken toy.

He cut me open, messed with my guts, and called it a day.

Mixing two kinds of skoal like a drunk man in a tin, or moving old skoal into a new one like it’s a love affair.

I mixed my skoal like it was a messy relationship and called it a surgery.

He poured old skoal into a new tin like he was proposing.

She combined skoal like it was a fight and called it a surgery.

What Americans do for fun. They take fake bits, stuff, and pieces, then pump, suck, tighten, and cut them like they’re in a fight.

Americans love cutting things up like it’s a wrestling match.

They take fake stuff and pump it like it’s a job.

They suck, tighten, and cut like they’re in a war.

Turning into a vampire by shaking hands with someone, like speed dating but with fangs and a lack of sleep.

I turned into a vampire by shaking hands with a guy who looked like he didn’t sleep.

My vampire transformation felt like a bad speed date.

He turned me into a vampire like I was at a party.

A girl’s way to get to the g-spot. If your mom is good, she’ll rub you until you scream, cry, and get a plane ticket to Nigeria for a surgery.

My mom rubbed me until I cried and got sent to Nigeria for a surgery.

She rubbed me until I screamed and had to fly to Nigeria.

My mom tortured me with rubs and got me a ticket to Nigeria.