A Song of Ice and Fire

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A wild threeway with a fiery redhead and a shiny blonde who looks like she just walked out of a commercial.

I tried to join the threeway but got kicked out for being too ugly.

The blonde was so hot, I forgot the redhead was even there.

They all got in a fight over who had the best hair.

The best fantasy book series ever written by a guy who has no problem killing off characters like it's his job.

I read the first book and thought it was cool. Then I read the second and realized I was in for a lifetime of pain.

George R. R. Martin is a sadist who loves watching people suffer.

I’m still waiting for the sixth book and I’m not even mad about it.

Screwing yourself with IcyHot and listening to the Game of Thrones soundtrack like it's the only thing that matters.

I got so turned on, I forgot I was alone.

The soundtrack was so loud, my neighbor called the cops.

I used IcyHot like it was my new best friend.

The theme song of the show that made the whole world obsessed with dragons, swords, and people who don't know when to stop fighting.

I know the song by heart and I still can't get enough of it.

My mom started humming it in the grocery store.

The theme song made me cry and I’m not even sad.

People who grew up watching the show and act like they're still in the game even though it's been over for years.

I dressed up as Jon Snow for the con and got stared at like I was crazy.

I still play the Game of Thrones board game like it's my job.

I went to the con and spent $200 on merch I don’t even need.