A single sycophant

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If I had one of these I'd be in a world of hurt you cocky little shithole don't try to outsmart me.

My cousin has one of these and he got fired for talking back to the boss.

That guy at the bar is one of these and he thinks he's the king of the night.

My mom's best friend is one of these and she still thinks she's cool even though no one likes her.

One of these is like having a rat in your pocket it's annoying and it'll bite you when you least expect it.

My neighbor is one of these and he brags about his kid's grades every single day.

My teacher has one of these and she still thinks she's the best even though her class is full of failures.

My dad's co-worker is one of these and he's always trying to be my dad's friend.

One of these is like a smelly sock you can't throw away it's always there and it's always making you stink.

My brother is one of these and he still thinks he's the smartest even though he failed algebra.

My mom's coworker is one of these and she's always talking about her stupid kid.

My friend's best friend is one of these and he still thinks he's the best at everything.