a rather tasteless joke

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1
A joke so bad it could make a dying dog beg for mercy. It's like someone took a punchline and threw it in a blender with a dead fish and called it a masterpiece.
My uncle told this joke at my grandma's funeral. She didn't even die from it.
My teacher used it as a substitute for a math test. I failed.
I told it to my pet goldfish. He swam away in disgrace.
2
A joke so ugly it could be related to a broken toaster. It's like a punchline that got run over by a truck and then fell into a sewer.
I told it to my friend. He started crying.
My mom used it to try to cheer me up. It made me want to scream.
I heard it at a funeral. The dead guy was laughing.
3
A joke so lame it could be the cousin of a lumpy potato. It's like someone took a joke and gave it a bad haircut and called it a comeback.
My dog hated it so much he ran away.
My brother told it at a party. No one talked for a week.
I told it to my crush. She broke up with me.
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