A Randy Lenser

He appraised my office building like it was his ex's face.

Told me my warehouse was 'worth less than a used toilet' and I believed him.

He charged me $500 just to tell me my building was 'a dump'.

He called my office 'a glorified storage unit' and I had to take it seriously.

He appraised my building like he was judging a beauty pageant.

He said my office was 'worth about 20 cents and a bad attitude'.

He appraised my building and called it 'a dying animal', I felt bad for the animal.

He said my office was 'a disaster' and I believed him until I got the bill.

He charged me $300 to say my building was 'a mess' and I agreed.