A Racer

My cousin thinks he's a racer because he put a wing on his car. I think he's a ricer. He even spelled it wrong.

He tried to race me to the gas station and lost because he couldn't find the gas pump.

He spends more money on his car than he does on food. I just eat ramen and win.

He told me he could beat me to the store. I got there first and he was still arguing with the cashier.

He said he could beat me in a race. I let him win so he wouldn't cry.

He challenged me to a race. I didn't even try, and he was still second.

He said I was a racist because I didn't agree with him. I told him I didn't know what racism was.

He said I was a racist because I didn't like his politics. I told him I didn't know what politics were.

He called me a racist because I didn't like his opinion. I told him I didn't know what an opinion was.

He said he was funny, cool, and my best friend. I told him I didn’t know he was funny.

He said he was the best friend ever. I said I didn’t know he was a friend.

He said he was funny. I told him he was the opposite of funny.

He cried when he didn’t get into college. I just got a job at McDonald’s and didn’t cry.

He got upset when he didn’t get a job. I just got a job and didn’t care.

He cried when he failed a test. I just got a C and didn’t care.

He said I was a racist because I didn’t like the president. I told him I didn’t know what a racist was.

He said the whole world was against him because the president was black. I said the whole world was against him because he was dumb.

He said I was a racist because I didn’t like the president. I told him I was just confused.

He cried when he lost the race. I just laughed and ate a sandwich.

He said he was the fastest man alive. I told him he was the slowest.

He cried when he lost to a guy in a suit. I told him I was just being kind.