A Queer Boast But Alas

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A stupid brag from someone who thinks they're cool but is actually a f***ing disaster who nobody likes

My cousin said he fought a dragon. I said, 'You're a f***ing liar.' He said, 'I fought a dragon and it had a beard.'

My grandma called her ex-husband and said, 'I still have your beard.'

At the church picnic, the priest said, 'I once healed a leper.' I said, 'You probably just gave him a f***ing rash.'

A dumb show-off move from someone who thinks they're important but is actually a total f***ing poser

My uncle told the story of how he saved the king. I said, 'You just saved the king from a f***ing chicken.'

My neighbor bragged about being a knight. I said, 'You’re a knight? You can’t even tie your f***ing shoes.'

At the feast, the bishop said, 'I once spoke to God.' I said, 'He probably said, 'F*** you.'

A silly brag from someone who thinks they're amazing but is actually a total f***ing waste of space

My cousin told me he saw a ghost. I said, 'You saw a ghost? That ghost probably said, 'F*** you.'

At the monastery, the monk said, 'I once ran a marathon.' I said, 'You ran a marathon? I walked a f***ing hallway.'

My grandma told me she knew the pope. I said, 'He probably told you to f*** off.'