a pure rigger

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A person who eats like a starved raccoon but has a wallet tighter than a nun’s secret and wouldn’t share the last drop of his beer.

My cousin’s a pure rigger. He’d rather starve than spend $5 on a sandwich.

That guy at the bar wouldn’t even split a pizza. He said it was ‘too expensive’.

My mom’s a pure rigger. She buys $20 worth of chips and calls it a meal.

A person so broke they’d sell their own kid for a hot dog, and still wouldn’t let you borrow a dollar.

My uncle’s a pure rigger. He sold his car for a burger and still wouldn’t give me $5.

That friend of mine wouldn’t even let me take a sip of his soda. He said it was ‘too expensive’.

My neighbor’s a pure rigger. She spends $10 on hair dye and calls it ‘a luxury’.

A person who would eat a rat if it was free, but would yell at you for stealing a single crumb from their plate.

My brother’s a pure rigger. He ate a sandwich for a month and still wouldn’t give me a bite.

That guy at the gym would rather starve than spend $1 on a protein bar.

My sister’s a pure rigger. She bought a $5 bag of chips and said it was ‘a steal’.