A Proper Engagement Congratulations

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#engagement fail #hand job gift #wedding nightmares

2 views · Added 16d ago · 3 definitions

When your friends get engaged and you decide the only decent way to congratulate them is to give the groom a slap on the wang and throw a pack of Camel Lights at him because you know he'll be too busy crying about his life choices to enjoy sex for very long.

At the wedding announcement, I yelled, 'Congrats! Now go cry about your life!'

I gave him a hand job and said, 'This is your engagement present.'

I threw Camel Lights at him and said, 'You'll need these when you're too sad to have fun.'

by Slangipedia 16d ago

When your friends get engaged and you think the best way to say 'congrats' is to give the groom a rough hand job on the spot, just because you're too lazy to get lube and you know he'll probably end up regretting this whole thing.

I grabbed his hand and said, 'Here's your engagement gift!' while giving him a hand job.

I said, 'I hope you regret this later!' and gave him a hand job.

I pulled him aside and said, 'You're engaged. Now let me finish my hand job.'

by Slangipedia 16d ago

When your friends get engaged and you feel like the only right way to say 'congrats' is to give the groom a hand job and throw him a pack of Camel Lights, because you're sure he'll be too sad to have any fun after the wedding.

I gave him a hand job and said, 'Here's your engagement gift and some Camel Lights for when you're sad.'

I yelled, 'Congrats! Now go smoke and cry about your life!' and gave him a hand job.

I said, 'Here's your present: a hand job and Camel Lights for your future sadness.'

by Slangipedia 16d ago