A Professional Person

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A professional is someone who thinks they're a wizard at their job but can't explain it without using words like 'synergy' and 'disrupt.'

'I'm not just a barista, I'm a coffee connoisseur.', said no one ever.

He got a promotion and now says he 'shapes the future.'

She left her job because she 'didn't align with the vision.'

A professional is a person who charges you extra for doing the same thing everyone else does, but with more fancy words.

He charges $200 an hour to fix your computer. It takes two minutes.

She gave a $500 presentation on how to drink coffee properly.

He said he 'curated the experience' when he just brought you a sandwich.

A professional is someone who wears a suit every day and still can't make a decision without a meeting.

They had a meeting to decide what color the office should be.

She asked for three meetings just to pick a lunch spot.

He took two hours to decide whether to take the train or drive.

A professional is someone who thinks they're special because they have a title, even if it's 'associate' or 'junior.'

He's an 'associate director' but can't even make a coffee.

She's a 'junior analyst' and still doesn't know what an average is.

He's a 'lead engineer' but can't fix a broken printer.

A professional is someone who makes a big deal out of small things and still can't do the big things right.

He sent a 10-page email about a 2-minute meeting.

She celebrated getting a 5% raise like she won the lottery.

He had a whole PowerPoint presentation about a broken chair.