a murderer

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A handjob you get while someone wears black leather gloves and thinks they're cool.

I got a handjob from my uncle wearing leather gloves and he thought he was the king of the world.

My dad gave me a handjob with gloves on and said, 'This is how you slay.'

My cousin got a handjob from a guy in leather gloves and he cried like a baby.

A hobby that kills time and people, mostly because you're too lazy to do anything else.

My dad's hobby is killing people and he calls it time management.

My mom kills time and people with her hobby, which is called murder.

My brother’s hobby is killing people and he calls it a sport.

When you beat the living daylights out of someone until they look like a meatball.

I beat my brother until he looked like a meatball and he cried.

My sister beat my cousin until he looked like a meatball and he ran away.

My dad beat my mom until she looked like a meatball and she started a new hobby.

Murder is like sex, but murder is way better because you get to kill people instead of just getting off.

Murder is like sex, but murder is better because I can kill people and get off.

Murder is like sex, but I would rather kill someone than have sex with my uncle.

Murder is like sex, but I kill people and I don’t have to deal with my uncle.

When someone wins at life and you get tossed in the trash like a used napkin.

My brother won at life and I got tossed in the trash like a used napkin.

My dad won at life and I got tossed in the trash like a used napkin.

My cousin won at life and I got tossed in the trash like a used napkin.

A psycho who thinks he’s cool, but he’s just a guy with a chainsaw and a basement full of dead people.

My uncle is a psycho with a chainsaw and a basement full of dead people.

My dad is a psycho with a chainsaw and a basement full of dead people.

My cousin is a psycho with a chainsaw and a basement full of dead people.

A person who likes to kill other people because they’re either bored or they think they’re cool.

My brother kills people because he’s either bored or he thinks he’s cool.

My dad kills people because he’s either bored or he thinks he’s cool.

My cousin kills people because he’s either bored or he thinks he’s cool.