A Momentary Lapse of Penis

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When your brain takes a nap and your penis starts giving orders. It’s like your head is on vacation and your junk is running the show.

I bought a pizza for dinner and a whole bag of chips just because the cashier was cute.

He texted his ex 17 times in a row because he thought she was flirting with him.

He quit his job to follow a girl on TikTok. No one saw it coming.

When your brain is like 'no' and your penis is like 'yes, and I’m gonna take you to the mall.'

He bought a $200 suit just because the salesperson said he looked good in it.

He drove three hours to see a girl who said she might come to the concert.

He spent all his savings on a dating app subscription. He’s not even on it yet.

When your brain is sleeping and your penis is doing a conga line in your head.

He texted his mom 'I’m gonna die' and then ordered pizza and a movie.

He left his girlfriend for a girl who had a dog and a Instagram page.

He bought a new car just because the dealer had a nice smile.

When your brain is on break and your penis is like 'I got this.'

He drove to a different city just to say hi to a girl he saw once.

He bought a ring and then forgot about it the next day.

He signed up for a gym membership and hasn’t been there since.

When your brain is taking a coffee break and your penis is yelling 'I want pizza now!'

He left his job to follow a girl who had 20 followers.

He bought a subscription to a streaming service just because the guy said 'you look good on screen.'

He drove to the store just to buy a bag of chips because the clerk smiled at him.

When your brain is out to lunch and your penis is at the drive-thru.

He said 'I love you' to a girl he had a crush on for a week.

He bought a whole cake just because the baker had a nice voice.

He drove 10 miles to buy a drink because the barista was cute.