A Miguel

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A ‘Miguel’ is a penguin who thinks he’s the king of the ice. He’s got the attitude to back it up, and he’s not afraid to make you feel like a fool.

My friend’s a Miguel. He’s got the fluff, the waddle, and the ego to match.

That penguin on the ice? Total Miguel. He’s got the look and the smugness.

Why is this penguin staring at me like I owe him money? He must be a Miguel.

That’s you. You’re a Miguel. You’re the reason your friends are sometimes too tired to talk to you.

You’re a Miguel. You’re the reason I got a headache today.

I swear you’re a Miguel. You’re always the last one to leave the party.

I can tell you’re a Miguel. You even walk like one.

Miguel is a god in human form. He’s got the looks, the laughs, and the ability to make you cry when he doesn’t feel like being nice.

Miguel walked into the room like he owned it. And he did.

He kicked my ass in soccer and then asked me out. Classic Miguel.

He’s the reason I cried in the shower. That’s how good he is.

Miguel is the sweetest guy you’ll ever meet, until he decides you’re the enemy and starts complimenting your flaws in public.

He cried when I got hurt. Then he called me ugly. That’s Miguel.

He told me I was the most beautiful person he’s ever seen. Then he called me a disaster. Classic Miguel.

He gave me a hug and then said I looked like a mess. I knew it was Miguel.

Miguel is the person you should never let go of. He’ll save your life, then blame you for it later.

He saved me from getting hit by a car. Then he said it was my fault.

He showed up when I needed him most. Then he said he’d rather be somewhere else.

He’ll be there for you. Then he’ll make you feel like the worst person in the world.

Miguel is the most amazing guy on the planet. He’s quiet, but when he speaks, he makes you feel like you’re the only one in the world.

He said one sentence and I felt like I was the most important person ever.

He smiled at me, and I knew I was in love. That’s Miguel.

He walked into the room and everything else faded. Classic Miguel.

Miguel is a god with a huge cock. That’s all you need to know.

That guy’s a Miguel. He’s got the cock and the attitude.

I swear that Miguel’s cock is bigger than my problems.

He’s a Miguel, and I’m not even jealous. That’s how good he is.