A Midwestern Soccer Mom

I tried to explain it wasn't wine. She said, 'It's the same thing. Just better.'

She poured the whole bottle of Diet Pepsi into her wine glass and called it 'a fusion of flavors.'

At the gas station, she asked for 'two liters of wine' and then laughed at me.

She texted me: 'Wine is the new soda. I'm upgrading.'

She drank the whole bottle and then called me to tell me she was 'drunk and proud.'

She sent a photo of her wine glass with Diet Pepsi in it and said, 'This is how we do it.'

She said, 'I just made a genius drink. It's like wine and soda had a baby.'

At the grocery store, she bought a case of Diet Pepsi and a case of wine and said, 'This is my new life.'

She told her kids, 'I'm mixing wine and soda. It's a family tradition.'