a mary barb

1 views · Added 5d ago · 3 definitions

squatting in the bushes like a feral animal because you’re too lazy to knock on your own door.

I got locked out and had to do my business in the bushes like a feral raccoon.

My neighbor saw me and thought I was running from the cops.

I got so mad at my keys I peed on the grass.

doing your business in the bushes because you’re too proud to ask for help.

I didn’t want to look like a fool, so I just went number two behind the bush.

My dog came running like he smelled something bad.

I had to wipe my butt with leaves.

getting locked out and turning the bushes into your personal toilet.

I got locked out and my bushes got a new tenant.

My neighbor asked if I was training my dog to be a detective.

I had to yell at the door like it was my ex.