a man's mile

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The amount of time it takes a man to get anywhere, even if he's only a block away and walking in circles.

'I live two blocks from the bar, but it's a man's mile because I had to stop for a smoke and a text from my ex.'

'He said he'd be there in five minutes. It's a man's mile because he had to stop for coffee, a snack, and a selfie with his dog.'

'I swear I only walked a block, but it was a man's mile because I had to check my phone 17 times.'

A man's mile is when he thinks he's running, but he's really just standing there looking tired.

'I ran a man's mile. I started, I stopped, I checked my phone, and I forgot why I was running.'

'He said he was doing a man's mile. I watched him take three steps, stop, and text his mom.'

'I did a man's mile in the park. I walked two steps, sat down, and called it a day.'

The distance a man will claim he ran, even if he barely moved and probably walked the whole way.

'I ran a man's mile. I left the house, took one step, and called it a mile.'

'He said he ran a man's mile. He walked to the store, bought a soda, and came back.'

'She asked if I ran a man's mile. I said yes. I only moved three feet.'