A Lynch

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To kill someone without a trial, usually by hanging, because the mob was too stupid to wait for a real court.

The cops got lynched by a gang of angry citizens because they forgot to bring donuts to the jail.

The mayor got hanged by a bunch of kids who thought he was a wizard.

The dog got lynched by the neighbors because it stole the mail.

To feel so confused by David Lynch's movies that you want to punch yourself in the face.

After watching *Eraserhead* for the third time, I screamed into a pillow.

My friend got trolled by *Twin Peaks* and now he thinks the coffee shop is haunted.

I watched *Mulholland Drive* and now I question my entire existence.

Getting pummeled by a group of people who all want to beat you up at the same time.

At the park, a bunch of kids jumped me and started hitting me with a bag of chips.

I got lynched by my mom and dad because I ate the last slice of pizza.

During a video game battle, I got mobbed by five characters who all wanted to kill me.

When a bunch of people tie someone up and hang them until they’re dead or very sore.

The town hung the mayor because he forgot to water the roses.

A group of people hung my brother from a tree because he wouldn’t stop singing.

The principal got lynched by the students after they failed the big test.

Killing someone in a really brutal or public way because the mob didn’t like them.

The mob dragged the thief through the street and then stabbed him with a fork.

The teacher got killed in the school parking lot by the whole class.

The guy who stole the candy got thrown off the roof and landed in a pool.

To completely destroy something, usually by hitting it so hard it becomes nothing.

The kid hit the cake so hard it turned into crumbs.

The dog ran into the wall and got flattened like a pancake.

The robot got smashed so much it became a pile of broken parts.

A punishment where you have to sit through a whole bunch of David Lynch movies until you’re insane.

My friend had to watch *The Elephant Man* for eight hours and now he talks to walls.

I got stuck watching *Lost Highway* and I now question my identity.

My mom forced me to watch *Blue Velvet* and now I have a nightmare every night.