a long time ago

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a time so far back it’s like your grandpa’s lie about eating a whole cake by himself

Back when dinosaurs were just a rumor and your mom was still sane.

They said it happened a long time ago, but I swear it was yesterday and they just forgot to tell me.

A long time ago is when your dad still remembered how to tie his shoes without crying.

the kind of ancient time that only your grandma could remember and even she’s not sure

A long time ago is when your dog didn’t have fleas and your life wasn’t a dumpster fire.

They said it happened a long time ago, but I bet it was just Monday and they’re bad at math.

Back when your brother still had hair and your mom didn’t yell at the mailman.