A Keith

A guy who takes another man's wife just because he's too lazy to ask for her hand in marriage. He usually picks her up with lines like 'You look like you could use a sandwich.'

A guy who hides his feelings like a coward, but when he finally shows them, they're loud and proud. He plays games like a champ and would rather die than let you down.

When a teammate hits you so hard during training that you end up in the hospital, probably because they're too dumb to know the difference between training and a war.

When someone has sex with the curtains, probably because they're too high to care about anything else.

When someone beats you up so bad they cut off your arms and drive a smart car over your face.

A god-like man who can turn a classroom into a cult and would let you die if you didn't pass his class. He’s the dad everyone wishes they had and the friend who would never let you down.

A guy who looks like he could be a wallflower, but once you get to know him, he’s the smartest, strongest, and funniest guy you’ll ever meet. He’s got a rough past and will tell you everything if you earn his trust.