A Keanu

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When a guy backs out of a romantic situation like he just saw a spider on his shoe and it was the worst spider ever.

Girl: 'I like you.' Him: 'Thanks, but I’m with the internet.'

He turned his phone on silent when she tried to text him during class.

He said 'I’m busy' when she asked him to the prom, and then went to play video games with his friends.

A guy so hot he could make a nun blush and then make her cry because she’s still a nun.

He walked into the room and my heart stopped. Then I remembered I was still in church.

He looked at me and I forgot my name, my password, and my life goals.

He smiled and I forgot why I was even breathing.

A guy who’s so nice and charming that even your ex starts to feel jealous and then realizes they’re still in love with you.

He told my ex she was ‘pretty cool’ and now she’s texting me.

He made my ex cry and then asked me out.

He said my ex was ‘a nice person’ and now I’m getting texted by my ex.

When a guy does cool moves like he’s in a movie and he thinks he’s Neo, but he’s just playing Call of Duty too fast.

He did a 360 no scope and then asked me out.

He fought a virtual enemy and then said, 'I’m not done with you yet.'

He killed a whole squad in Call of Duty and then said, 'I could do that in real life.'

A guy who laughs at your jokes, cries at your sadness, and then hits a 360 no scope like he’s fighting for his life.

He hugged me when I cried and then played Call of Duty like it was a war.

He laughed at my dumb joke and then killed my friend in the game.

He cried when I broke up with him, then played Call of Duty for three hours straight.

A guy so hot he makes your face feel like it just got hit with a brick and your heart feels like it’s doing backflips.

He walked into the room and my face turned red like I had a sunburn.

He smiled and my heart started doing push-ups.

He looked at me and I forgot how to breathe.

A breeze so cool it feels like it came from the top of a mountain and it probably did.

It felt like I was on a mountain and I was breathing the air of a god.

The breeze hit me like it had just climbed Mount Everest.

It was like I was in Hawaii and the wind just said, 'You’re welcome.'