Slangipedia - Slang Dictionary

1

A Jonah is someone so unlucky, they make your bad day look like a good week.

My Jonah spilled his coffee on my laptop and then tripped into a puddle.

My Jonah got stuck in the elevator with a guy who smells like old socks.

My Jonah tried to juggle and dropped all the balls... and his lunch.

2

A Jonah is the guy who will hug you when you're crying and laugh at your dumbest jokes.

My Jonah texted me at 2 a. m. just to tell me he was eating a sandwich at 3 a. m.

My Jonah broke up with his girlfriend just to dance in the hallway with me.

My Jonah cried when I told him I was going to college.

3

A Jonah is the kind of person who can destroy a table just by looking at it.

My Jonah kicked the table so hard it fell over and broke.

My Jonah sat on the table and it cracked like an old man’s bones.

My Jonah tried to do a backflip and the table exploded.

4

A Jonah is the guy who makes your heart go crazy and your brain go numb from love.

My Jonah texted me at 3 a. m. just to say he was thinking about me.

My Jonah made me laugh so hard I cried.

My Jonah told me he would never leave me, even if I turned into a chicken.

5

A Jonah is the smartest guy you’ll ever meet and can beat you at video games like it’s nothing.

My Jonah beat me in Super Smash Bros so fast I didn’t even get to react.

My Jonah knew the answer to the question before I even asked it.

My Jonah played the clarinet so well, the music teacher cried.

6

A Jonah is just a guy with a really big penis.

My Jonah told me he had a penis so big it could beat anyone at arm wrestling.

My Jonah said his penis was bigger than the moon.

My Jonah showed me a picture of his penis and it was terrifying.

7

A Jonah is the guy who only watches the wildest and spiciest memes.

My Jonah showed me a meme so wild, it made me want to quit life.

My Jonah sent me a meme at 3 a. m. and I had to text him back.

My Jonah laughed so hard at a meme, he cried.