A Joe Rogan

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1
A total waste of time and oxygen.
I watched the whole show and felt my brain die.
This guy is like the human version of a broken toaster.
If this was a joke, I’d be the punchline.
2
A smelly, loud, self-centered piece of garbage.
He smells like a wet sock and a dead raccoon.
He talks too much and nobody cares.
He’s the reason I don’t want to be a human anymore.
3
Staring at a hard drive full of pictures of naked women while your girlfriend is right there sleeping.
He’s like a dog who got a treat and forgot about the person who gave it to him.
He’s watching porn like it’s a sport.
He’s got a girlfriend and a porn addiction, and it’s a warzone.
4
What happens when you smoke weed and your organs get replaced with monkeys because you ate too much garbage.
He’s like a monkey who got high and decided to take over your body.
He’s got monkey organs and a bad attitude.
He’s the reason I’m afraid of junk food.
5
A guy who constantly gives people way too much praise for things that weren’t even that good.
He praises everything like it’s a superhero.
He thinks a bad joke is the best thing since sliced bread.
He gives people medals for doing nothing.
6
The best sandwich ever invented, made by a guy who probably smells like a wet sock and a dead raccoon.
It’s a sandwich so good it could make a god jealous.
I ate one and I felt like I was in flavor heaven.
It’s the sandwich of the gods, and I’m a god now.
7
A hilarious guy who tells jokes and fights like a superhero.
He’s got the punchline of a thousand jokes and the power of a thousand monkeys.
He’s a comedian, a fighter, and he’s got a brown belt in something I don’t even know.
He’s like a superhero who also knows how to make a sandwich.
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