Slangipedia - Slang Dictionary

1

A guy with long hair who looks like he’s been living in a dumpster for years.

My cousin’s hair is longer than a dog’s tail. He’s a Jesus.

My neighbor’s hair looks like a rat’s nest. He’s a Jesus.

That guy in the park with a beard and a duffel bag? He’s a Jesus.

2

Something so awesome, it might make your brain explode.

When my brother did 10 push-ups in 10 seconds, that was a Jesus.

When I ate 12 tacos in one bite, that was a Jesus.

When my mom yelled at my dad for 2 hours, that was a Jesus.

3

A cool guy who got his reputation ruined by a bunch of stupid fans who think they’re important.

My brother is a Jesus, but his fans think he’s a king.

My crush is a Jesus, but his fans think he’s a rockstar.

My teacher is a Jesus, but his fans think he’s a god.

4

A common name for Hispanics, and the guy who’ll take your girl if you let him.

My cousin’s name is Jesus, and he took my sister to the movies.

My friend’s name is Jesus, and he took my crush to the mall.

My uncle’s name is Jesus, and he took my mom’s best friend.

5

A zombie carpenter who’s been dead for 2000 years and still thinks he’s cool.

Jesus died on a cross, but he still thinks he’s cool.

Jesus eats bread and wine like it’s a party.

Jesus thinks he’s the best thing since sliced bread.

6

A guy who got nailed to a plank because he said everyone should be nice.

Jesus got nailed to a plank for saying nice things.

Jesus got nailed to a plank because he was too nice.

Jesus got nailed to a plank because he didn’t know how to shut up.

7

A god based on the sun, but he’s not as cool as he thinks he is.

Jesus is just a god based on the sun.

Jesus is a god, but the sun is way cooler.

Jesus is a god, but he’s not as cool as the sun.