Slangipedia - Slang Dictionary

1

You’re so stupid you could trip over your own dumbass and still be confused.

My cousin thinks the sky is green because he saw a green balloon once.

My mom said the moon is made of cheese, and I believed her for a year.

My brother tried to eat a whole pizza and then cried because he choked on it.

2

You’re so lazy you’d let your dog do your taxes.

My neighbor forgot to water his plants for three weeks and now they look like they’re dying of embarrassment.

My dad sleeps through his own birthday party every year.

My sister left her homework on the floor and stepped on it. Still didn’t do it.

3

You’re the kind of person who would try to explain a joke to the punchline.

My friend told a joke about a chicken, and I explained why chickens are funny for ten minutes.

My brother tried to explain a joke to a dog. The dog looked confused.

My mom told a joke, and I interrupted her to say I knew where the punchline was.

4

You’re like that one CG character in Star Wars who talks too much and no one likes him.

That movie looked like it was made by a kid with a crayon and a bad headache.

That character kept talking and I was half-way through the movie and I already hated it.

That movie had more CG than my grandma’s knitting.

5

You’re the kind of person who would say ‘just another ranker’ to describe someone who lives in a ditch.

My friend moved to the middle of nowhere and still said he was ‘just another ranker’.

My cousin lives in a trailer and still says he’s from a ‘low place’.

My brother moved to a farm and still called it ‘not about that life’.

6

You’re so annoying you could make a cat cry and still be obnoxious.

My neighbor’s dog barked at me for 10 minutes and still didn’t shut up.

My mom talks so much I need a drink just to survive the day.

My brother told a joke 17 times and still said it was funny.

7

He’s like a giant, sweaty, cheese-smelling monster who runs around with a patty hat and kills old men for fun.

That guy in the park who eats pizza and looks like he just came from a cheese factory.

My uncle has a patty hat and screams at the mailman every day.

That guy from the store who smells like old socks and cheese.