a huge dong

You look at your friend’s burger and realize yours is just a sad pile of ketchup.

You see a guy walking by and think, 'Why does he have a dong the size of a pizza?'

You’re at the pool and suddenly feel like a shrimp.

You tried to do pull-ups and just fell off the bar like a sack of potatoes.

Your teacher said you looked like a chicken trying to fly.

You were too busy crying to finish the test.

You see a guy’s dong and instantly wish you were invisible.

You’re at a family dinner and your cousin’s dong is bigger than your uncle’s meatloaf.

You’re at a concert and the guy next to you has a dong you could use as a walking stick.

You think your dong is why you failed math.

You blame your dong for making you miss the bus.

You say, 'If I had a better dong, I’d be the smartest kid in class.'

You look in the mirror and think, 'Why did I ever choose this life?'

You see a guy’s dong and think, 'Was it worth it?'

You’re at the mall and your dong is the only thing that matters now.

Your brother shows off his dong and you think, 'I’m gonna beat you up.'

You’re both at the park and he brags about his dong.

You start a full-blown wrestling match just to prove yours is bigger.