A Graeme

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1
When you spot a lousy HDD on a laptop and yell at it like it owes you money, just so you can replace it with something that actually works.
"This HDD is slower than my grandma's walking speed!", @LaptopLover23
I told the HDD it was getting fired. It didn’t even fight back.
My HDD is so slow, it makes me want to cry in the corner.
2
Graeme has a big pp, is a bed beast, looks like a god, and plays football like he’s fighting for his life. He smokes like it’s a religion, but he can quit any day if he feels like it.
Graeme’s pp is so big, it could be a football team by itself.
He smokes like it’s a second job. I think he’s trying to become a human chimney.
He’s got that football magic. He’s like the wizard of the pitch.
3
A Graeme is your awkward, joke-telling best friend who only dances to Vanilla Ice and thinks drama is the worst thing ever. He gives the best advice and is waiting for his one true love.
He asked me why I dance to anything else. I told him Vanilla Ice is the only one who makes sense.
He told me drama was like a bad sandwich. I nodded and ate my sandwich.
He said he’d rather be a psychologist than a drama queen. I believe him.
4
Graeme has a huge pp, is a total laugh, smokes like a chimney, and plays football like it’s his life. He’s hot and doesn’t need much else.
His pp is so big, it could be a football goalpost.
He smokes like he’s trying to become a human firework.
He’s so good at football, he could be a pro. Maybe even a famous one.
5
Graeme is what happens when your relatives decide to have a baby. It's like a family explosion with a side of drama.
My uncle and aunt had a baby. It was like a family explosion.
Graeme’s cousins are all over the place. It’s like a family war.
My mom said Graeme was the result of a family fight. I believe her.
6
Graeme is the cutest person on Earth. He’s like a human puppy who just wants to make you happy.
He’s so cute, I want to hug him every day.
He looks like a puppy with a smile.
He’s the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. I think he’s a god.
7
A Graeme is a queer who takes Adderall like it’s a religion and ends up overdosing like it’s a party.
He took Adderall like it was a snack. He ended up in the hospital.
He’s like a queer Adderall machine. He never stops.
He overdosed on Adderall and still managed to laugh. I think he’s a god.
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