Slangipedia - Slang Dictionary

1

A big juicy (fat) snatch that makes your brain go soft.

I saw a Garfield and I immediately forgot how to walk.

My cousin ate a Garfield and now he’s crying in a corner.

Garfield is so good I had to take a lunch break just to survive it.

2

When you get your face sucked while eating lasagna and watching the tube.

Garfield gave me a face suck while I was eating lasagna. I died.

My mom got a Garfield and now she’s watching the tube like it’s a holy experience.

I got a Garfield and forgot how to breathe for 10 minutes.

3

The god of the universe who doesn’t give a single damn about you.

Garfield is the god of the universe and I’m just a tiny bug in his shoe.

God is dead. Long live Garfield.

Garfield created the universe and then went to sleep. That’s how lazy he is.

4

A religion where you sit on your ass all day and eat lasagna.

I joined the Garfield religion and now I eat lasagna for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

My uncle converted to Garfield and now he doesn’t even speak anymore.

Garfield religion is the only thing that makes sense in this world.

5

The strongest creature in the universe. You can’t run from it. It already ran you over.

Garfield ran me over like I was a tiny bug. I’m still recovering.

I tried to run from Garfield. He caught me and gave me a face suck.

Garfield ran me over so hard I forgot my own name.

6

A swag-ass mofokin kitty who is too lazy to even blink.

Garfield is a swag-ass mofokin kitty who doesn’t even blink when you yell at him.

My dog got a face suck from Garfield and now he’s a swag-ass mofokin dog.

Garfield is so swag-ass mofokin I can’t even finish my lasagna.

7

1) A president who got killed because he didn’t give a job to a weird guy. 2) A comic strip about a lazy cat who eats lasagna.

Garfield the president got killed because he didn’t give a job to a weird guy. Sad.

Garfield the comic strip is my favorite. I eat lasagna every day because of it.

Garfield the president and Garfield the cat are both awesome. I’m confused.