a fucking ride

My car is a fucking ride. It coughs like it's dying and smells like a gym sock that's been buried for a year.

This thing is a fucking ride. It makes noises like it's trying to scream and it smells like old pizza and regret.

I drive a fucking ride. It’s like driving a toaster that’s on fire and smells like wet dog.

My car is a piece of junk that tries to kill me every time I turn the key. It’s like it’s got a grudge.

That car is a piece of junk. It tried to kill me on the way to work. I think it’s got a death wish.

This thing is a piece of junk. It starts like it’s got a choice and it’s not happy about it.

My car is like it’s about to fall apart and smells like it’s been in a landfill for a decade.

That car feels like it’s about to crumble and smells like old socks and regret.

I drive a car that feels like it’s going to collapse and smells like it’s been through a war.

That car doesn’t want to move. It’s like it’s got a job and it’s not in the mood.

My car smells like it’s been sitting in a ditch for years and it doesn’t want to move.

This car is like it’s got a coffee hangover and it doesn’t want to move.

My car has more rust than a pirate and more noise than a rock concert.

That thing is like a pirate’s dream and a rock concert all in one.

I drive a car that’s got rust like a pirate and noise like a party.

That car tries to murder me every morning and smells like it’s been through a fire.

My car is like a serial killer and it smells like it’s been through a fire.

This thing is trying to murder me and it smells like it’s been in a fire.