A fucking negative

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4 views · Added 17d ago · 6 definitions

1
A person so dumb they made the dumb meter go backwards. They’re not just stupid, they’re negatively stupid.
My cousin thinks the moon is made of cheese. I’m not even mad, I’m negatively impressed.
This kid got a D on a math test. I gave him a -D. That’s a new grade.
He asked me if the sky was blue. I said, ‘No, it’s the color of your brain cells.’
2
When you’re so lazy you don’t even have enough energy to not care. You’re like a broken robot that forgot how to not work.
I didn’t even show up to my own birthday. I was giving a negative fuck and a half.
She skipped class, then skipped lunch, then skipped life.
He missed the final exam because he forgot he had it. That’s a negative fuck right there.
3
You don’t just not care, you actually pay money to not care. It’s like you’re hiring someone to be indifferent for you.
I paid $5 to ignore my mom’s text. That’s a negative fuck, baby.
He signed up for a ‘Don’t Care Club’ and got a free ‘I Don’t Care’ hat.
She gave her friend a ‘-100’ on how much she cared about the project.
4
When something is so annoying that it makes you angry just by existing. It’s like your brain is yelling at you.
I saw a pigeon walking on my keyboard. I screamed. That was a negative fuck.
My neighbor mows his lawn every day. I’ve given him a negative fuck and a half.
The guy next to me in class kept whispering. I’m not mad, I’m negatively annoyed.
5
A piece of trash so useless it’s not even worth being trash. It’s like the trash of the trash.
This pencil broke after one use. It’s not just broken, it’s a negative pencil.
That shirt came out of the washing machine covered in dirt. It’s not just dirty, it’s a negative shirt.
This kid failed the test and then failed the retry. That’s a negative student.
6
You don’t just not care, you actually owe people for not caring. It’s like you’re in debt to indifference.
I didn’t show up to work and got a raise. That’s a negative fuck with benefits.
He didn’t do his homework and got a gold star. That’s a negative fuck with a bonus.
She didn’t answer the phone and got a free pizza. That’s a negative fuck with extra cheese.
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