a fucking monday

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#morning misery#drunk raccoon#hate your boss

4 views · Added 17d ago · 3 definitions

1
A Monday is when you wake up with the brain of a drunk raccoon and realize your weekend was just a lie you told yourself.
I woke up on Monday and my brain was like a sock that’s been in a washing machine for a month.
My boss said, 'Good morning,' and I replied, 'I don’t know who you are, but I hate you.'
My dog looked at me and said, 'You’re not even worth the treats I give you anymore.'
by Slangipedia 5d ago
2
A Monday is when your weekend’s glory turns into a hangover and you feel like your brain was used as a doormat for a donkey.
I came home from work and my brain was like, 'I don’t even know who I am anymore.'
My friend texted me, 'I don’t even know why I’m still alive.'
My mom called and said, 'If you don’t stop being a mess, I’m going to come over and beat you with a ladle.'
by Slangipedia 5d ago
3
A Monday is when you swear you’re going to get your life together, but by 9 a. m., you’re already crying in a donut shop.
I told my boss I was going to be awesome on Monday. Then I cried in the breakroom.
I promised myself I would eat healthy on Monday. Then I ate three donuts and a bag of chips.
My friend came in and said, 'You look like you just got run over by a bus.'
by Slangipedia 5d ago
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