a friend in need is a friend indeed

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A real friend is the one who shows up with a beer and a punch to your face when everything goes to hell.

My buddy showed up at the hospital with a six-pack and a middle finger when I broke my leg.

She texted me at 3 a. m. with a pizza and a promise to beat up my ex.

He drove three hours in the rain just to yell at my boss for me.

A true friend is the one who doesn’t run away when you start screaming at the sky.

When I lost my job, my friend stayed with me and watched me cry for three days straight.

My bestie didn’t leave when I yelled at her for not texting me back.

He sat with me in the principal’s office even though I called him a f***ing idiot.

A real friend is the one who steals your snacks and then helps you fail your math test.

She took my lunch and then told me the answer to the test before it even started.

He hid my homework and laughed when I got in trouble.

My friend snatched my burger and then failed the test with me.

A true friend is the one who f***ing stands by you when you’re completely f***ed up.

He showed up drunk at my house when I was crying over my dog’s death.

She stayed with me even after I called her a f***ing idiot 20 times.

He didn’t leave when I threw a couch at him.

A real friend is the one who doesn’t leave when you’re being a complete disaster.

My friend didn’t run away when I tried to eat my entire pizza in one bite.

She stayed even after I yelled at her for not doing my homework.

He didn’t leave when I tripped into a puddle and yelled at him.

A real friend is the one who f***ing shows up when you’re in the worst mess.

He showed up with a f***ing pizza when I got suspended from school.

She came to my house at 1 a. m. and yelled at my mom with me.

He showed up with a f***ing cat when my dog ran away.