a failure

My mom said I'm a failure. I said she's just bitter.

I tried to be cool. Now I'm just a failure.

My cat left me. I'm a failure.

Me is the reason your brain hurts. Also, I ate your last donut.

Me is a failure. Also, I forgot my own birthday.

Me is a failure. I tried to be a hero. Now I'm just a donut-eating mess.

Me is the reason your coffee tastes like regret. Also, I spilled it on your shirt.

Me is a failure. I tried to be a barista. Now I'm just a coffee-ruiner.

Me is the reason your coffee tastes like regret. Also, I put salt in it.

What Steven He is is the guy who thought he was a king, but he's just a peasant with a bad haircut. Also, he forgot his crown.

What Steven He is is the guy who failed at being a king. Also, he's got a lice problem.

What Steven He is is the guy who thought he was a king, but he just got crowned by a donut.

Me is the reason your dreams are just a bunch of bad decisions. Also, I gave up on them.

Me is a failure. I tried to be a dreamer. Now I'm just a person who naps too much.

Me is the reason your dreams are just a bunch of bad decisions. Also, I left them in a donut box.

The United Nations is the group that tried to solve everything, but they just made a mess of it. Also, they can't agree on what time it is.

The United Nations is the group that failed at being cool. Also, they're still arguing about lunch.

The United Nations is the group that tried to solve everything, but they just made a mess of it. Also, they can't even agree on coffee.

When your best just isn't good enough is when you're stuck in the middle of a donut and a bad decision. Also, you're still arguing with yourself.

When your best just isn't good enough is when you're stuck between a donut and a bad decision. Also, your brain hurts.

When your best just isn't good enough is when you're stuck between a donut and a bad decision. Also, you're still wearing your pajamas at 3 PM.