A dirty pepperoni

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A smelly, messy, greasy piece of junk that looks like it crawled out of a sewer and got hit by a pizza truck.

My cousin's breakfast looked like a dirty pepperoni. I almost threw up.

That dog left a dirty pepperoni on my couch. I'm still mad.

My brother's lunch was a dirty pepperoni. I don't know how he survives.

A guy so hot he could make a pizza look jealous and a dog run away.

That guy at the bar was a dirty pepperoni. I wanted to marry him.

My crush is a dirty pepperoni. I've been staring at him for hours.

My friend's new boyfriend is a dirty pepperoni. I'm jealous.