a der

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when something is so obvious even a brain-dead donkey could see it

"Duh, the sun comes up every day!", said by someone who also thinks the moon is a cheese wheel.

"You just got caught eating my lunch!", like it's a surprise.

"I can't believe you didn't notice the fire!", because you're literally standing in it.

a fancy way of saying you're giving head, like you're too good to say the real word

"I'm going to go give my mom a der.", like she's not going to ask why you're smelly.

"He said he'd do a der in exchange for a pizza.", the pizza was just a cover.

"I did a der so I wouldn't have to talk to her.", and it worked, because now she's crying.

the laugh of a magical, overly dramatic, pink-haired teacher who thinks she's the only one who can do it

"She laughed like Umbridge when I told her I flunked math.", and she cried.

"He screamed like Umbridge when he saw his dog dead.", and the dog was just sleeping.

"She did a der like Umbridge when she saw her hair fall out.", and it was a total shock.

a brain-dead, spelling-challenged, lunch-bread-adding idiot who can't even make a sentence without making it worse

"Brad and I were on lunch bread.", like the bread was a person.

"I like pizza and lunch bread.", no one asked for that.

"The bread was on the lunch.", and the bread was confused.

what you say when you're bored, or when someone says something so dumb it hurts your brain

"A der.", said when no one was talking and it was awkward.

"You said the sky is blue? A der.", because it's obviously purple.

"He said he didn't know what time it was. A der.", and he was right next to a clock.

a way of saying you're a dumbass, or you're full of lies, or you're the kind of person who takes the yellow bus

"You're a der!", because you forgot your lunch again.

"He said he's not a der.", and he is.

"She's a der, and she's proud of it.", and she's also crying.

the sound of someone talking like they're from a hick town, or the act of making fun of them for it, or when you just want them to shut up

"He said, "Y’all, I’m gonna go get me some corn.", like he’s the king of the farm.

"She made a der out of him when he said he’s rich.", and he’s still wearing his old pants.

"He did a der when he talked for ten minutes about his dog.", and it was glorious.