A Critical Mass

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A band from Sudbury, Suffolk, England, who play loud, sweaty metal that sounds like a drunk goat fighting a chainsaw.

@CriticalMassBand just turned my ears into lava. #metaloverload

I heard them live and now my brain is stuck on repeat. #worstdecisionever

Critical Mass is the reason I can’t hear my own thoughts anymore. #metalpain

When something is so full of crap it can’t take any more without exploding.

My pants hit critical mass and I had to sit down on the floor. #disgrace

The pizza was so packed with cheese it reached critical mass. #cheeseyou

My boss hit critical mass and walked out. #worklife

A bunch of hipsters on bikes who think they’re royalty and ride all over the road like they own it.

Critical Mass happened and I got stuck behind a bike parade. #roadblock

Those hipsters think they’re kings. #bikeroys

I saw a Critical Mass and it looked like a sea of douches. #bikeroyalty

A monthly bike ride that turns the road into a war zone and makes drivers lose their minds.

Critical Mass hit the streets and the traffic became a nightmare. #bikerwar

I saw Critical Mass and it was like a thousand bikes fighting the cars. #roadwar

Critical Mass is just a bunch of people trying to make the road hate them. #bikemadness

A point where things go from bad to absolutely nuclear, like a chain reaction in a nuclear plant.

The party hit critical mass and the cops got called. #partynuke

My coffee hit critical mass and it was like a nuclear explosion in my cup. #coffeenuke

The group chat hit critical mass and now I can’t read anything without laughing. #chatnucleus

The moment when you can’t hold back your climax anymore, like a dog that just saw a squirrel and can’t stop barking.

I hit critical mass during sex and my brain short-circuited. #orgasmexplosion

The pizza hit critical mass and I could feel it in my soul. #cheeseyou

My dog hit critical mass and now he’s barking at the vacuum. #squirrelvision

When something is so packed with people or things it’s like a traffic jam from hell.

The highway hit critical mass and I was stuck for three hours. #traffichell

My group chat hit critical mass and it was like a flood of messages. #chatjam

The concert hit critical mass and now the venue is a war zone. #musicmayhem