A Cougar Ate My Baby

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#parental horror#smelly romance#cat lady vibes

4 views · Added 16d ago · 6 definitions

1
your kid got caught doing the nasty with a hot older woman who smells like a cat.
My kid came home with a black eye and a text that said 'I'm in love.'
She said it was a 'mystery meat experience.'
He told me he was 'baited by her tail.'
by Slangipedia 16d ago
2
your kid got taken by a woman who looks like a milf and acts like a beast.
He said she 'ate him alive.'
She sent him a DM that said 'Don't tell your mom.'
He came home with a coupon for a second date.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
3
your kid got seduced by a woman who’s got the looks of a queen and the attitude of a cactus.
He said she ‘pierced him with her eyes.’
She had a ‘snack date’ with him.
He told me she ‘stole his lunch money.’
by Slangipedia 16d ago
4
your kid got tricked by a woman who’s got the face of a goddess and the tongue of a dog.
He said she ‘licked him into submission.’
She sent him a text that said ‘You’re my snack.’
He came home with a bruise and a wink.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
5
your kid got taken by a woman who looks like a milf and smells like a dumpster.
He said she ‘dumped him in the trash.’
She sent him a text that said ‘Don’t come back unless you’re rich.’
He told me she ‘had the eyes of a hawk.’
by Slangipedia 16d ago
6
your kid got messed up by a woman who’s got the face of a model and the heart of a beast.
He said she ‘devoured him in the lunchroom.’
She sent him a DM that said ‘You’re my new snack.’
He came home with a coupon for a ‘second meal.’
by Slangipedia 16d ago
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