a conway

I told my mom the sky was pink. She said, 'Of course it is.'

My teacher said 2 + 2 = 5. I believed her for a whole week.

The president said the moon was made of cheese. I believed him until I got a stomachache.

He tried to argue with me. Now I don't know if my nose is my mouth or my brain is my fart.

My dog tried to explain why he ate my homework. I don't know if he's my dog or my fart.

My math teacher said 2 + 2 = 5. Now I don't know if I'm my brain or my fart.

I asked him about school. He talked about dinosaurs and why they hate the moon.

I said 'math' and he talked about why math is a dragon.

I asked about pizza. He talked about why the moon is angry at the sun.

The dictionary said 'banana' means fruit. Now it says 'banana' means 'elephant' and 'elephant' means 'ketchup'.

I looked up 'cat' and it said 'dog'. I looked up 'dog' and it said 'ketchup'.

The dictionary said 'water' is wet. Now it says 'water' is 'ketchup' and 'ketchup' is 'banana'.

I had a beer at 7 a. m. and had sex at 11 p. m. I'm a degenerate.

I drank beer at breakfast and had sex at dinner. I'm a degenerate.

I had a beer before school and had sex before bedtime. I'm a total degenerate.

He beat me with one move. I looked like a noob.

He used Conway tacs and I got wrecked.

I faced Conway and I got sandbagged like a total noob.

He showed up and everyone was like, 'Who is this guy?'

He didn’t talk much, but when he did, it was the best part of the night.

He wore a suit and had a cat on his shoulder. I’m never getting that cool.