a child

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the only thing worse than a rapist is a kid who thinks they're cool

My kid just asked me why the sky is blue and I want to die.

I saw a kid wearing a shirt that said 'I'm not a kid, I'm a king' and it was the saddest thing ever.

My kid tried to explain the universe to me and I just stared at him like he was a lost cause.

a being with the brain of a peanut, zero friends, zero money, and a mom who’s a crackhead who sleeps with 20 girls just to feel something

My kid’s brain is so small, it fits in a peanut shell and still cries.

He told me his mom works at a club and sleeps with 30 guys just to feel alive.

He said his mom’s a crackhead and she’s got 25 boyfriends. I asked, 'Why?' He said, 'Because she’s trying to feel something.'

a young lord, or just someone who misspelled 'child' so hard it became a meme

I called my kid a 'young lord' and he asked if that meant he could rule the world.

My kid said he’s not a child, he’s a 'young master' and I just rolled my eyes.

He tried to say 'child' but it came out as 'young lord' and now it’s a meme.

a more fun way to say children, especially if you say it like a Southern guy who thinks he’s a cowboy

My kid said, 'children' and I said, 'call 'em 'kids' and sound like a Southern cowboy.'

He said, 'children' like he was talking to a bunch of dirt farmers.

I told him to say 'children' with a Southern accent and he tried to sound like a cowboy.

TommyInnit, but with more energy and less sense

He says he’s TommyInnit but he’s just a kid with too much energy.

He acts like TommyInnit and I’m just tired of it.

He said he’s TommyInnit and I told him, 'No, you’re just a kid with a bad life.'

a wide-eyed human under 18, stuck in a prison where they’re force-fed facts and attacked by the dumbest people

They call school a prison and I can’t argue with that.

They get force-fed facts and I just want to scream.

They get attacked by the dumbest people and I just want to leave.

Zhongli’s sugar daddy, or just a kid who typo’d 'child' and got confused

He said he’s Zhongli’s sugar daddy and I said, 'No, you’re just a kid.'

He said he’s not a child, he’s a sugar daddy and I just stared at him.

He said he’s a kid who typo’d 'child' and it just got worse.