A Cell

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A tiny room where prisoners rot, like a stinky meat locker for people who don’t pay fines.

My cousin got tossed in a cell for not paying his ticket. He’s been there so long, he’s started growling at the guards.

The jailer said the cell was so small, it was like a tiny coffin for a man who still had to do push-ups.

They put the kid in a cell and forgot about him. Now he’s a full-blown lunatic.

A squad of freaks who like to blow things up, probably because they never got a date.

The cell group showed up at the mall and lit up the food court like it was a war zone.

The cell guys came to town and attacked the mayor’s car with a fireball. The mayor cried.

They called themselves the Cell, but they couldn’t even spell ‘cell’ right.

A tiny phone you hold like it’s a tiny, expensive, annoying pet.

My cell phone died, and I cried like it was my firstborn.

I showed my cell to my mom, and she said, ‘That thing is more expensive than your future.’

I dropped my cell in the toilet, and now it’s a cell-ate.

A giant, smelly, overgrown man who copies people’s powers and then uses them to beat up everyone else.

Cell showed up and absorbed my neighbor. Now my neighbor’s inside him, and he’s even more annoying.

Cell was so strong, he beat up Goku like he was a little kid.

Cell came to town and ate my dog. Now my dog’s part of him, and he’s stronger.

When someone wants you to call them and is probably bored out of their mind.

My friend called me at 2 a. m. just to say, ‘Cell me.’

My mom sent me a text that said, ‘Cell me or I’ll take away your snacks.’

The kid at school yelled, ‘Cell me now, or I’ll beat you up later!’

The tiny building block of life, but also the reason you’re stuck in school forever.

My teacher said, ‘Cells are the reason you’re stuck in this class, and I’m not lying.’

Cells are so tiny, they’re like the little brothers of your body.

Cells are the reason you have to do homework and also the reason you’re alive.

When your phone is stuck in your pants like a tiny, expensive, embarrassing erection.

My phone was stuck in my pants, and the whole class laughed at me like I was a clown.

I walked into the store with a Cell-on, and the cashier asked if I was a robot.

My phone was in my pants so much, it got a life of its own.