A Cartman

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A Cartman is a fat, lazy, lying kid who can’t shut up and will beg for anything. They’re usually named Kyle, but that’s just a coincidence.

Kyle: 'I’m not a Cartman! I’m just tired!'

Kyle: 'I’ll cry if you don’t give me money!'

Kyle: 'I’m not fat. I’m just… well-rounded.'

A Cartman is the reason you watch South Park. They eat garbage, watch stupid shows, and get everything they want from a mom who’s too dumb to say no.

'I want a million dollars! And a cheese poof!'

'I’m watching Terrence and Philip while eating a pancake donut surprise!'

'I’m not fat. I’m just… very full.'

A Cartman is a fat kid who’s full of hate, stupidity, and bad decisions. They’re the worst part of the world, all crammed into one kid.

'I hate Jews! And Kyle! And everyone else!'

'I’m not racist. I’m just judging people.'

'I will beat you up if you don’t give me money!'

A Cartman is a kid who’s lazy, fat, and will do anything to get rich or get revenge. They whine like a baby and get everything they want.

'I want money! And I want revenge! And I want my mom to buy me a million cheese poofs!'

'I’m going to take over the world and eat all the cheese poofs!'

'I’m going to beat you up if you don’t give me money!'

A Cartman is a genius who’s also a fat, racist, lying, baby-faced kid who will do anything to get what he wants.

'I’m going to take over the world and make everyone eat cheese poofs!'

'I’m not fat. I’m just… very successful.'

'I’m going to beat you up if you don’t give me money!'

A Cartman is a fat kid who loves being racist, eating garbage, and getting his way. He hates everything else.

'I hate everything! Especially Kyle and the Jews!'

'I love cheese poofs and I hate everything else!'

'I’m going to beat you up if you don’t give me money!'