a candisay

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2 views · Added 6d ago · 2 definitions

1
When your brain turns to mush and you can't pick between pizza and death. It's like being stuck between a rock and a hard place, but both options are bad.
Why can't I just pick a flavor? I'm not a goddamn unicorn.
I stared at the menu for 10 minutes. I'm not lazy, I'm just sophisticated.
I had 3 seconds to decide. I still don't know what I picked.
2
When you fall asleep so fast you don't even remember your name. Like your brain just gave up and took a nap in your skull.
I went from awake to unconscious in 2.3 seconds. I'm a goddamn ninja.
I passed out before my coffee hit my mouth. That's not a normal person.
I blinked once, and I was gone. I'm not dead, I'm just on vacation.
xs