A Bruce Willis

My uncle got shot 10 times and still laughed. That’s a Bruce Willis moment.

I got shot once and cried. My friend got shot 10 times and still said Yippee-kai-yay. That’s a Bruce Willis moment.

I tried to be a Bruce Willis. I got shot once and passed out. Not good enough.

My dad drinks like a sailor and acts like he owns the world. That’s a Bruce Willis moment.

I saw a guy drinking whiskey at 3 AM and still kicked ass. That’s a Bruce Willis moment.

My friend drank all night and still beat me up. That’s a Bruce Willis moment.

My cousin is a Chuck Norris fan, but my dad beats him up like it’s a sport. That’s a Bruce Willis moment.

Chuck Norris can’t even beat my brother. My brother is a Bruce Willis moment.

I watched Chuck Norris fight a bear. Then I watched my dad fight a bear and still laughed. That’s a Bruce Willis moment.

My grandpa says he was born in space. I don’t believe him. But he kicks ass like a Bruce Willis.

My cousin says he was born in space and fought a dinosaur. That’s a Bruce Willis moment.

My mom says I was born in space. She’s probably a Bruce Willis.

I took on 2 guys with no shoes and lost. That’s not a Bruce Willis moment.

My brother took on 20 guys with no shoes and won. That’s a Bruce Willis moment.

I tried to be a Bruce Willis. I took on 1 guy with no shoes and cried. Not good enough.

My uncle looks like a rock and beats up people like it’s a sport. That’s a Bruce Willis moment.

I looked like a rock and got beaten up. Not a Bruce Willis moment.

My dad looks like a rock and kicks ass like a god. That’s a Bruce Willis moment.

My brother acts like a beast and plays cool movies. That’s a Bruce Willis moment.

I act like a baby and play bad movies. Not a Bruce Willis moment.

My dad acts like a beast and plays cool movies. That’s a Bruce Willis moment.