a-brad

Brad just walked in and said, 'I’m the king of this party, and you’re all peasants.'

He showed up to the bar and tipped the bartender 50 bucks just for letting him in.

Brad claimed he could beat up a dragon with his bare hands, and nobody believed him.

Brad’s toilet looked like a lava flow after he finished his breakfast.

His roommate found a pool of goo in the bathroom and called the plumber.

Brad said it was just a 'sperm tsunami' and refused to clean it up.

Brad sprayed cum across the entire bedroom like it was a war zone.

He hit his girlfriend with a cum blizzard and she was crying from the mess.

He cummed so much the ceiling got a second layer of cum.

Brad drove through three red lights and said it was 'just a small favor to the traffic.'

He got pulled over for going 80 in a 35 zone and just said, 'You’re lucky I didn’t cum on your face.'

Brad drove like a man possessed and made the traffic cop cry.

Brad cried when his girlfriend broke up with him, but then he called her and said, 'I still love you like a kid.'

He showed up with a cake for no reason and told her, 'This is just a small sign of my love.'

Brad sent a 10-page letter explaining why he loves her like a kid.

Brad said he was the best at everything and that he could beat anyone in a karate match.

He told his friend he was 'the most amazing guy on earth' and sent him a 30-minute video of himself doing push-ups.

Brad told his mom he was 'the most amazing person in history' and she just said, 'Okay, kid.'

Brad tried to save the world by fighting a robot in the park and ended up crying in a corner.

He told everyone he was saving the planet and then spilled coffee on his shirt.

Brad tried to be a hero and ended up running from a single mouse.