1
Stuffing your face until you look like a blubbering walrus.
I ate so much I could’ve been a burger.
My stomach is now a second home.
I looked like I’d been hit by a food truck.
A Bevis
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2
A drink so strong it could knock a horse off its feet.
That drink was like a punch from a ghost.
I drank it and my neighbor turned into a statue.
I swear I saw my dog get drunk.
3
A magical creature that hates theme parks and video games.
Bevis ran away from the park like it was on fire.
The game was bad, so Bevis attacked it.
They banned Bevis from the park forever.
4
A drink so cheap it makes your soul cry.
That beer was so bad, it tasted like regret.
I drank it and my brain turned to mush.
It was like drinking a bucket of sadness.
5
A beer so weak it could barely keep a man standing.
I drank it and my legs turned to jelly.
That beer was like water for a man who wanted wine.
It was so weak, it made me sleepy.
6
A drink that turns you into a superhero (or a disaster).
I drank it and I could bench-press a car.
I drank it and I cried in public.
It gave me powers… and a hangover.
7
A drunk man who thinks he’s a rock star, and he’s not wrong.
He sang in the street like he was on stage.
He got arrested for being too loud.
He tried to dance with a cop.