A Beast

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1
A person who is so good at what they do it’s like they were born with a medal around their neck and a cheat sheet in their brain. They never quit, even when they’re barely standing.
My cousin is a beast at chess. He beat my uncle in 3 moves and then fell asleep.
That kid in the class is a beast at math. He solved the problem before the teacher even finished writing it.
My dog is a beast at eating my homework. He ate it whole and then licked the table.
2
Milwaukee’s Best Beer, so cheap and strong it’s like drinking a monster’s breath after it just finished a wrestling match with a fire hydrant.
I drank a Beast and then cried in the bathroom. My brother laughed and said, 'That’s what you get.'
My mom bought a Beast for $2 and got drunk on it. My dad got drunk on it too, but he took it from her.
I brought a Beast to school, and my teacher said it was a health hazard.
3
The president’s car. It’s so tough it could survive a nuclear blast and still complain about the traffic.
The Beast drove through a wall and said, 'I’m not done yet.'
The Beast was bulletproof, but it still got stuck in a traffic jam.
The Beast ran over a robot and then parked in front of a pizza shop.
4
The burger that tastes like heaven and hits you like a truck full of happiness. It’s the best burger on Earth, and it was made by a group of people who are definitely not angels.
I ate the Beast burger and felt like I was in a dream. Then I woke up and realized I was still full.
My friend tried the Beast burger and said it was better than his ex.
The Beast burger is so good it made my dog cry.
5
A person who is so good at something, it’s like they have a magic wand and a sidekick named ‘Effort.’
My neighbor is a beast at gardening. He grew a tree in one day and then fell asleep on it.
My teacher said I was a beast at spelling. I said, 'Thanks, but I still don’t know how to spell 'beast.'
My mom is a beast at cooking. She made a pizza that looked like a masterpiece.
6
When you or a movie star gets absolutely obliterated, it’s like they were hit by a train, a tornado, and a very angry raccoon all at once.
The movie star got destroyed by the beast. It looked like he had been hit by a train and then cried.
I got beat up by the beast in the video game. It felt like I was in a wrestling match with a bear.
The beast destroyed the star, and then the star cried in slow motion.
7
When you are a beast. It means you are not just good, you are the definition of ‘annoying good.’
I was a beast today. I beat my brother at every game and then fell asleep on him.
My dog was a beast. He ate my homework and then barked at the teacher.
I was a beast at breakfast. I ate three pancakes and then cried because I was full.
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